


Praying For Love (And Paying In Naivety)

by improbablynotonfire



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 03:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8234092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/improbablynotonfire/pseuds/improbablynotonfire
Summary: 'In hindsight: I should've known pretending to date my best friend to save our careers wasn't one of my brightest ideas - but what other choice did I have?'Or the fake relationship that went wrong in all the right ways.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Quick note before we get started: I'm trying to keep this as close to reality as I can, but having a big YouTube channel in this story doesn't pay as well as it actually does in real life - the events wouldn't actually be able to happen if I was being realistic; they can make a million between them in a year, they're already sorted for life. 
> 
> I hope you all like the fic and comments & kudos are much-appreciated.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter has a prologue and another chapter!

**PROLOGUE:**

 

In hindsight: I should've known pretending to date my best friend in order to save our careers wasn't one of my brightest ideas - but what other choice did I have?

The number of views on mine and Phil's videos were slowly beginning to decline, the thousands of retweets we'd receive had decreased dramatically compared with what we'd get a year ago. There even seemed to be less phanfiction on Tumblr about whatever the two of us had done this time to humiliate ourselves then what there used to be.

We'd hit an all time low - and the both of us knew it. Money was becoming tight, between the basics like food, paying rent and the not-essential-but-simultaneously- _incredibly_ -essential things like Internet and (over-priced) clothing, it was getting more difficult to afford what was needed as each month passed.

It felt like we were being forgotten, pushed aside by a whole new generation of YouTubers - all younger, with fresher ideas and better editing software. But I didn't want to simply be forgotten. I didn't want to just fade away until the only evidence left of us are channels that have been inactive for fourteen months or the occasional gif of the two of us whenever someone decided they wanted to reminisce about their role models from their adolescent years.

The 'phan' rumours were probably half the reason we had even the smallest amount of success in the first place, and it didn't take a genius by any means to figure out that was losing it's credibility. Hence the reason: some accepted the fact; then others stopped watching, unsubscribed and gave up on us completely.

I couldn't help but think I'd come up with the (quick and easiest) solution to our financial problems - if we were to succumb to their wishes things would become like they used to be. It was slightly absurd and certainly placed pretty highly in the 'what stupid shit will YouTubers do for views?' competition. But if 'phan' was what people wanted, it'd be 'phan' they'd get.

What's the worst that could happen?

***

 

**CHAPTER ONE**

"Dan, have you lost your mind?"

That was the reaction I'd gotten off Phil. The idea was 'ludicrous' in his opinion, that the entire thing was a scam - a scam he didn't want to be part of, he was eager to add.

"For heavens sake you've seen all the compilations on YouTube trying to prove we're secretly in a relationship, they'd all believe it if we announced they were right all along. If people are convinced we're dating then our numbers will skyrocket, you can't complain about us earning a little more than what we're on now."

Despite what online personas may lead people to think, Phil's the one who sees things more rationally than out of the pair of us, he's always quick to put a stop to whatever outrageous ideas I come up with - and rightly so more often than not.

"This will never work. We can easily fool some teenage girls, I'm sure they'd believe anything, but what about everyone else? Our friends? Our families? Do we lie to them as well or just admit we're so desperate for money that we're pretending to be romantically interested in one another for publicity? It'd be embarrassing."

I couldn't deny that Phil had a point, neither of our families and certainly none of their friends are homophobic so they wouldn't have a problem with us 'being together', but I didn't think they'd be pleased if they knew the truth - all the same it'd be wrong to keep it from them.

"Well what do you suggest we do? We can't just carry on like this - I'd say another three months and we'll have to get jobs on the side of YouTube. That'd mean no more travelling abroad to see our friends for collabs, no meet and greets or VidCon panels, everything would fall apart. Do you really want that?"

If Phil's the clear-headed one out of the two of them, then I would consider himself the stubborn and persuasive one, Phil always gives into me if I pester him for long enough.

"If this somehow goes wrong and everything becomes a total mess - I'm blaming you."

"So we're going to do it?" I asked hopefully.

"Just remember that this is your idea, not mine."

I took that as a sign of his consent.

First things first was to let our close friends and immediate family know, I couldn't imagine they'd would be happy if they found out at the same time hundreds of thousands of strangers did. We made all the necessary phone calls - just to explain that we wanted to come out publicly within the next week or so but wanted to tell our families first. Thankfully both Phil's family and my own had suspected it for years on end and told us they were happy.

The same went for our friends in the UK, for people like Cat and Tyler who lived abroad we sent a long paragraph explaining everything via iMessage. Tyler of course was extremely pleased and there was a seemingly positive reaction from everyone we'd told.

Phil decided planning a coming out video was the next thing we needed to do. It had to be something believable, but at the same time nothing too cliché and boring.

"No, absolutely not." Phil shook his head. "If I'm doing this, I'm not using the 'we've been in love since 2009' story."

I was beginning to notice how negative Phil was being, far more so than usual, it's out of character for him to act in that particular way, it was like our personalities had been completely switched.

"But everyone loves the '2009 romance' story." I tried to reason with him.

"Late 2010 or 2011, that's as far back as I'm going."

"Fine." I agreed to disagree and scribbled down 2009-11 on the paper we were writing ideas down on.

In half an hour's time, the paper was full of sentences and words for us to use in the video - I figured the video only needed to be five or so minutes long, just enough to announce their 'relationship' and give a short backstory, we could do a Q&A about it in another video.

"This is definitely going to work, right?" Phil asked me.

That wasn't really a question I could give an answer to, it was more a matter of hoping for the best.

"As long as neither of us do anything to give it away, everything should be fine - that means we can't go on any dates while this is going on."

"Neither of us have even attempted dating in about three years - it's not that we have to worry about." Phil laughed.

"What worries me is staying in this role all the time, I'm scared we'll somehow slip up and people are going to find out we're faking it - our careers would be over for sure." Phil continued.

"Hey - I'm supposed to be the pessimist here, not you; we'll be fine."

Despite how many times I had reassured Phil that everything would be fine, I only half believed what I was saying myself. In the back of my mind I had the exact same doubts - I just refused to let them show.

***

"As you guys may have been able to tell from the title of this video, we've got quite a bit of explaining to do." Phil spoke into the camera whilst we both sat on Phil's bed, hands intertwined.

We decided to name the video _You Were Right All Along (Coming Out)_ , inspired by the first conversation we'd had about it. I had thought it best to upload it onto his own channel and have the Q&A on Phil's, but the initial plan changed, if Phil was being made to do this then he had to have his own way at some point.

_"We can't have a Dan and Phil Q &A on my channel, not when it's only a few months away from PINOF!" he'd insisted before we'd began to record._

_"Fine, we'll put the coming out video onto yours then." I grumbled as I rolled my eyes in response. "It'd be helpful if we had an actual video to upload first though."_

"Yeah, we've kept it secret for a long time and I think we're ready to go public about it."

"Remind me: how long have we been together now?"

"It's been a while, that's for sure. I'd give a rough estimate of seven years, twenty-five weeks and four days." I recited the first numbers that came into my head, remembering not to take my eyes off Phil the entire time.

"Did you use one of those websites that calculate days or are you just insanely good at maths?" Phil laughed, leaning into me. He tried his best to look as relaxed and natural as possible - I hoped the discomfort around what we were saying wasn't too eminent.

The entire scenario seemed odd. I knew we'd done worse before; I'd had Phil sat on my lap on camera for YouTube Rewind a few years back, and the amount of innuendos I'd make in videos made me think I wouldn't feel as strange as I did.

"Definitely the latter."

We tried to make the remainder of the video as similar to our usual style as it were possible given the circumstances, it ended up being shorter than we'd anticipated, the end product only being about three minutes long. The next video would have to be far longer than this one.

"I can't believe you said we've been together since 2009 - I thought we had an agreement." he complained after we'd stopped recording.

"Have you only just figured that out?" I asked him, laughing.

"I studied linguistics at university instead of maths for a reason, okay."

***

When Phil procrastinates, that's when I know there's something wrong with him. His editing is usually done in the first couple of days after recording, but the film ends up being saved - untouched - to my laptop for well over a week whenever I make an attempt to do it. Phil's always quick to get things done, so two days later I couldn't help but feel concerned when Phil told me he'd absolutely nothing with the footage.

"I'm just having second thoughts, that's all."  
He said. "Make that a hundred and second thoughts - I'm _terrified_ , this could end up being the worst thing we've ever done, and I've done a hell of a lot of stupid things."

"We're completely bricking it together then, aren't we." I responded, trying his hardest to reassure him.

He'd begun to twiddle his thumbs and was looking down at the floor, I didn't think there'd ever been a time that I'd seen him this tense before.

"We can edit it together, come on - it'd be a shame to let the footage go to waste."

"You don't actually need to bother, it's pretty much ready to be uploaded, I've left parts of it for you to put in the stupid sound effects and comic sans wording if you want - you're better at that than I am." Phil admitted. "I should've just told you it was done, I just wanted to wait a little longer."

"It's fine, I get it."

The next half hour was spent making last minute changes to the video before it was ready to be uploaded.

"Are we tweeting about this on both of our accounts or just yours?" Phil asked.

"Just stick to the usual: put it on both twitters, then reblog it onto Tumblr afterwards, it gets more attention that way." I answered.

I'd entered the title and a description, the only thing left for Phil to do was click the upload button. The tweets had been drafted and we're ready to be shared, everything was in place.

"Okay, operation save our jobs is a go." he hesitantly pressed the mouse.

"You know, I've just realised something, Phil."

"What?"

"Seven years, forty-two weeks and six days. Seven, two, five, four - that's my credit card pin." I sighed as I hit my hand against my forehead, face palming.

_That was the reason those numbers came to my head so quickly._

"I'm sure no one will make the connection between the two." Phil reassured me.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing everyone's favourite gay American YouTuber, Tyler. I hope I've done his character justice.

The first few retweets came a second after it was posted by me. The first few hundred likes were in the space of far less than a minute. Each individual person commenting seemed to be on various levels of fangirling.

_**phanicatthedisco** : omgomgomg_

_**dansllamahat** : is this a prank?_

_**diltrashnumberone** : I'M GOING TO CRY FPAPGBCNSVWIQKSM_

_**yourlocaldemonphannie** : we tried to tell everyone smh_

"Well that was fast," I observed, I think Phil was either too stunned or too afraid to give me a verbal response - his expression was enough to tell me exactly how he was feeling.

Everyone in our fanbase seemed to be losing their minds at this moment in time, half of them tweeted they were crying - or crafting (I knew we'd regret that slogan later on), the others tagging Phil and I and asking what on earth had just happened.

We didn't have the answer ourselves really - I don't think we've ever gotten this much attention before.

The tag #phanisreal was trending, placed at number eight on Twitter, as the time passed it had gotten higher and higher in the rankings until it had reached number two. It had gained over fifty thousand tweets in the space of an hour - the number of video views we'd gotten in that time was unbelievable.

"We're back." Phil announced.

***

There was a knock on our apartment door the next morning.

"Phil, were you expecting anyone today?"

"I assumed they'd be looking for you, I have no plans."

Since we were both clueless as to who the person at the other side of the door was, I unlocked it and came to face to face with Tyler, who was grinning madly at us both.

"Tyler, what are you doing here?" Phil asked him.

"Well, I was supposed to be visiting someone to do a collab - but they can wait until later, Zoe Sugg _who_ , am I right? Now, tell me everything," he rambled as he walked straight into our apartment.

"Tyler -" I tried to cut the conversation short before he got ahead of himself, but I was unsuccessful.

"When's the wedding going to be? I mean it's almost been eight years, you two - I think it's time. Can I be your best man, Dan? We could go shopping for wedding suits and plan your honeymoon - you could do a honeymoon vlog, that'd be adorable. Also, I'm dying to know, are the phangirls correct? Does Phil top when you-"

"Tyler!" Phil cried out before he could finish his sentence, looking somewhat traumatised at that particular prospect.

"Too personal?" he asked us.

"We're not dating!"

I shot a glance at Phil, raising my eyebrows in disbelief. I saw Phil mouth the words ' _I'm sorry_ ' at me. It was a little too late for apologies - Tyler knew now.

"Wait, what?" he'd now calmed down, the excitement becoming confusion.

"Well the video you created announcing to the entire internet that you are says otherwise."

"Do we look gay to you?" I asked him, getting a little frustrated.

Tyler drew an intake of breath and for the second time cut him off before he could say anything.

"You know what - don't answer that."

"I think I'm owed an explanation on what exactly is going on here."

After explaining the situation we'd found ourselves in to Tyler, he sighed in what seemed to be exasperation.

"You two are officially screwed - did you think this through at all?"

In all fairness - we didn't, whatever events occur after this will be completely spontaneous.

"It'll be fine, it happens all the time - people pretend to date so people are more interested in their work. We're not the first to do this,"

"That doesn't mean you'll get so much hate you'd be out of the job completely if you're found out - just be careful."

"We will - don't worry. We just won't tell anyone else that we're faking it, it's probably for the best."

"I guess so." Phil agreed.

Tyler told us he had to go, he'd only come to visit to congratulate us - and get as much gossip as he could, of course. He'd gotten more than he'd bargained for, that's for sure.

He wished us luck, there wasn't a doubt that we needed a whole lot of it. I only hoped he wouldn't make the same mistake Phil did and tell someone without really meaning to.

"He took it better than I thought he would've." Phil noted after Tyler left. I couldn't help but laugh at the situation - I noticed I'd developed a nervous laugh over the years.

We trusted Tyler to not tell a soul - but there was still doubt.

> ***

It'd only been a few days since we'd released our last video, so the reason why we felt we needed to upload another one so quickly was unbeknownst to us.

We'd sent a message out over Twitter to send us some questions for a Q&A video to go on my channel, and we spent hours on end going through each one, deciding which ones to include in the final cut.

"There's so many top and bottom tweets - for heavens sake," I sighed in exasperation.

"We both know you'd bottom," Phil remarked.

"I would not!" I insisted.

The rest consisted of where we met, our first date, our first kiss - which admittedly I cringed a little whilst making up some story and talking to the camera.

"We were going to do the boyfriend tag - but every single couple on YouTube have already done that, and we can always count on you guys for, erm, original ideas, so we've left the questions down to you - and our first question is: when did you know you'd fallen in love?"

"Probably the day when you'd eaten all my cereal and I didn't want to break up with you," I answered, faking a laugh.

"Second question: why did you hide your relationship for such a long time?"

"We should've come out years ago really, we were just scared of people's reactions. We're already practically joined at the hip, but we felt if we announced it to you guys - it'd become an extra label. We want to be known as ourselves, for what we do and not let a relationship status define who we are,"

I was pretty happy with that answer. We answered a few more of the questions, mostly about plans for the future, to which we responded we had no idea what it held for us. Keeping future plans vague wound be the most sensible option, theories about 2022 are bad enough as it is. That was the only response we'd given that was one hundred percent true.

"Next question - will the fact that you're out change your channels in any way?"

"We might do more collabs, but other than that it's going to be the same old Dan and Phil."

"Will you get a dog now?"

"It's not an impossibility I guess,"

A few more questions were answered, admittedly I felt bad for a few seconds when I remembered that next to none of the words we said, we actually meant. Rather hypocritical of me considering how many times I've mentioned other YouTubers exploiting mine and Phil's fanbase and how much I dislike people like that. I had shake off those feelings right now for this plan to work.

How the hell am I expecting myself to be able to keep this act up around friends and family if I can't tell some untruths to a video camera?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Living for those usernames amirite


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ay I made an OC

_**iMESSAGE FROM TYLER** : decided to stay in the UK for another week or so - you and Phil up for drinks tonight?_

"Phil?" I yelled out, hoping he'd hear me from wherever he was in the apartment.

"What's up?" Phil yelled back to me.

"Tyler wants to go out, he's not flying back for another few days - just for drinks."

"It disrupts our weekly anime night but we probably should, it's not like he's a train journey away from us every day of the year." he responded as he walked into the room I was stood in.

_**iMESSAGE TO TYLER** : yeah sure, any place in mind?_

"He's not going to take us to a gay bar, is he?"

"I doubt it - he knows about our situation."

I forced out a laugh. "Because that'll stop him."

I highly doubted he wouldn't take us to one as a practical joke.

_**iMESSAGE FROM TYLER** : I'll send you the address. Is 7 an ok time for you two?_

_**iMESSAGE TO TYLER** : yeah, should be fine. See you then :)_

The time on my phone read quarter past six, we had a good half hour or so to get ready - we needed every minute of it considering neither of us had intended to get out of our pyjamas for the duration of the day.

The next forty minutes of our evening included frantic running between the bathroom and our bedrooms in an attempt to look at least halfway decent in the time we were given.

"Dan hurry up - the taxi's going to be here in less than five minutes."

"I'm not leaving this apartment until there isn't a single hobbit hair on my head."

"Honestly you have a problem." Phil responded in a monotone voice, looking at me in disbelief.

"Okay, fine, let's go."

It was rather out of character for Tyler to choose some tucked-away-into-the-background pub over a crowded club; I was half thankful, the other half of me was simply confused about how he knew London so well considering he lived on an entirely different continent.

_**iMESSAGE TO TYLER** : we're here where are u sat?_

_**iMESSAGE FROM TYLER** : we're over in the far corner, you'll know when u see it ;)_

_**iMESSAGE TO TYLER** : 'we're' ?? What are we supposed to be seeing? Why is there a ;) at the end of your text? Tyler..._

I felt Phil nudge my arm, causing me to look up from my phone.

The back corner was covered in balloons, small pieces of confetti were scattered around in such a way it made me feel a great amount of sympathy for the pub's cleaner. Gathered at the table were a crowd of people, including Louise, Zoe, Tom, Caspar and, of course, Tyler sat in the centre, grinning smugly in spite of himself.

I heard a banging noise from a newly-opened party popper and watched in disgust as a depressing amount of confetti and tissue paper spilled out of the side of it. That was followed by a party horn that gave out a somewhat annoying blaring sound.

The most atrocious of the decorations was a small banner originally reading ' _Happy Birthday_ ', the kind a seven year old child would have at their party - the letter ' _D_ ' had been covered with what looked to be white duct tape, and replaced with a wonky-looking ' _G_ '.

"Are you shitting me?" I spoke through gritted teeth. "A ' _birthgay party_ ' - this has Tyler Oakley written all over it."

Phil said nothing in response, he just stood there in a state of shock.

"Come on." Phil said as he was about to begin walking over.

"I am _not_ going over there."

"You're the one who got us into this mess in the first place, this is payback."

"No, this is Tyler Oakley being a dick." I protested.

I was adamant on not moving even an inch closer to that area, in the end Phil had to grab my hand and pull me across to the table as if I was some stroppy toddler in the middle of a supermarket. That probably didn't make our situation any better.

"Just smile and look happy - and don't let anything slip about 'us'." Phil told me through gritted teeth, trying his hardest to make his smile look genuine.

"Only Tyler would get revenge in the form of a party." I responded, pulling an equally as fake grin.

_Dan, you weren't half bad at acting when it was a hobby of yours - this is nothing but another role, you're playing Phil's boyfriend, you know everything there is to know about him - it's childsplay._

On the contrary, I knew absolutely nothing about dating guys or how Phil and I would act - we had no plan of action, everything would be ad lib.

Phil and I's welcome was enthusiastic to say the least - a lot of hugs and shouting. Tyler, of course didn't hesitate to shower the two of us with affection.

"You guys shouldn't have, thank you so much." I faked my enthusiasm despite the fact I really did mean it.

"Who were the masterminds behind this one then?" Phil asked.

I saw Zoe and Tyler raise their hands. It wouldn't surprise me if planning this was how they chose to spend their time after they'd finished recording the collab.

"I helped him find a venue and gave him a hand buying all the decorations et cetera, but it was all Tyler's idea." Zoe told the group.

"I wouldn't have suspected it were anyone else." I responded and shortly afterwards felt a pain in my ankle from where Phil had kicked me, just a reminder for me not to raise any suspicion.

When no one was paying any particular attention to me, I snook off with Tyler, just to talk a few things out.

"Tyler, what the hell is this?" I asked as I looked at the celebrations a yard or so away from me, almost in a whisper.

"It's called a surprise party." he replied as he pretended to roll his eyes in discontentment.

"You know full well there's nothing that needs to be celebrated." I scolded.

"If you guys can be fake boyfriends, I can be allowed to throw you two a fake party." explained Tyler.

"So Dan, why did you never tell all of us about you two - we wouldn't have told anyone about it if you wanted it secret, you know." Louise questioned when Tyler and I had joined the rest of the party again.

I had to make a cover up - and fast.

"Erm, we just didn't want you guys to be judgemental and -." I tried my hardest to make an explanation but allowed my voice to just trail off as soon as I'd come to the conclusion that I'd completely fucked up.

"You thought we'd judge you?" someone responded, sounding a little offended.

_Well done, Dan. Way to put your foot in your mouth._

"No - I don't know, I'm getting a drink." I announced as I got up from my seat and headed towards the bar, hearing Phil make up some excuse about the fact he's nervous about going out as a couple.

"Strongest thing you've got that won't get me drunk off my head, please." I told the bartender as I took a place on one of the empty stools.

"Rough day?" she asked me as she brought out a bottle from a shelf and began to pour it into a glass.

"You could say that." I replied, chuckling.

"That table over there?" the woman questioned, pointing at the area I'd just come from.

I nodded my head.

"A coming out party held in your honour - not bad." the bartender observed. "They got here almost an hour before you and that other guy did - gotta admire their dedication."

"Well, judging by that banner." I answered, averting my eyes to the utter monstrosity that was blue-tac'd to the wall.

"Is he the guy you're in a relationship with?" she asked, pointing at Phil.

"It's complicated, but I guess so."

I felt that I could tell her, she didn't appear to be a fan, or even appear to recognise me at all - if she did then I commend her ability not to get starstruck, however narcissistic that sounds.

"What's so complex about it? Friends with benefits? On and off?" she suggested.

"Erm, we're not romantically involved with one another - both of us are straight, we're just friends, but everyone seems to think it's more than that, or that we should be; we're faking it just to satisfy them."

"What's the point in making yourself miserable for their benefit - your selflessness is admirable, but it can't have been so bad that it's driven you and your friend to 'come out' if you're both into girls."

"There's a lot of annoying and persistent people out there, believe me."

She had no idea of just how many.

"We haven't formally introduced ourselves - I'm Alex."

"Dan." I responded.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Dan." she said whilst tucking a few strands of dark hair behind her left ear.

From the corner of my eye I could see Tyler approaching the bar, which was probably my signal to leave. Alex saw me looking over at Tyler and came to the same conclusion that I'd been at the bar a little while longer than I should've been.

"Dan, just before you go - pass me the receipt from your drink."

"Okay." I responded as I handed the small piece of paper over to her.

Alex then proceeded to grab a pen and scribble down an eleven digit number, giving me the paper back once she'd done.

"Just in case your situation's stressing you out, or you're in the mood for a conversation."

"Thanks, I'll text you tonight. I meant tomorrow - some point in the next twenty-four hours or so." I messed up my speech, to which she giggled at my stupidity.

"I'll see you around?"

"I hope so." Alex responded.

As I proceeded to the leave the bar and go back to mine and Phil's friends, I came face to face with Tyler.

"It's not a good idea to flirt with the cute female bartender if you have a 'boyfriend', you know." Tyler commented.

"I wasn't flirting." I corrected him. "We were having a conversation."

"That's not how it looked from over here. You don't want people to starting thinking things about you and Phil, just a heads up."

The warning I'd gotten off Tyler made me more conscious to ensure that Phil and I were acting like a believable couple. Hence the reason I put all of my dignity to the side and kissed Phil's cheek when I sat down again, he was taken aback slightly judging by his facial expression before he remembered that we're a little more than best friends in public, so then proceeded to grab my hand to carry on our act.

"I should've asked you before I kissed you - sorry." I apologised during the taxi ride home.

"Don't worry about, it's not a big deal, it was only on the cherry - it just came out of nowhere and took me by surprise, that's all."

"Yeah, well Tyler freaked me out saying that people might suspect something's up if we don't try to do more couple-y things."

"He played you like a deck of cards." Phil concluded, laughing at me.

"What?"

"The guy ships it - you really don't think he'll use this to his own advantage? Making us go out in public and hold hands, all his fanboy dreams are coming true and I'm sure he couldn't be happier with himself."

"You're right - I'm actually going to kill him."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month without updating she comes back with a chapter. Honeslty I'm so sorry it's been such a long time,0 I've been drowning in school work.

It had been three days and I still hadn't text Alex, and admittedly I felt a little bad about it. I'd been busy, trying to write scripts and plan ideas for videos - the sudden rise in ad revenue had given me the type of motivation that I hadn't experienced in a while; the happiness I'd feel when I'd gained subscribers overnight or someone had commented on my first videos when I was just starting out.

Of course, it wasn't all about the money, our followers had become more active than they were a few weeks ago - I was able to look through other YouTuber's comment sections and find people with mine and Phil's face starting comment chains that irritated everyone again. It was refreshing to see things going back to the way they were.

_**MESSAGE TO ALEX** : it's dan, sorry I couldn't text sooner, I've been practically drowning in work these past few days u up for getting coffee?_

_**MESSAGE FROM ALEX** : Don't worry about it - coffee sounds good. Starbucks at 2??_

_**MESSAGE TO ALEX** : I'll see you then :)_

Perhaps Starbucks wasn't the best place to go, it was always packed with teenagers drinking cappuccinos - the paranoia about being seen was slowly making its way to the front of my mind. It'd take one person to recognize me and ask for a photo for my cover to be blown. Phil tried to reassure me the best he could.

"It's not like we're huge celebrities, Dan."

"We've had our faces plastered on billboards in the past - I'm figuring that gives us a least _some_ form of social status." I'd began to pace back and forth around the room.

"Just relax, you'll be fine." Phil said. "If I didn't know better I'd say you're nervous because of her, not because of any of the other people who could out couldn't be there."

It took me a few seconds to grasp onto what he was saying. "First Tyler, now you? It's not like that - I only spoke to her for ten minutes."

Phil only laughed in response.

"You'll be late if you don't stop trying to defend yourself."

"Shut up." I joked as I walked out of the apartment door.

Taxis are usually my preferred method of transport, but today I felt like walking. Whether that being down to me wanting to waste the time that I really didn't have, or I was just trying to procrastinate on the inevitable I wasn't sure.

I was fortunate enough to not to have encountered anyone who cared enough to stop me on my journey, and luck was on my side when I discovered Starbucks was nowhere near as crowded as it'd usually be. From the corner of my eye I could see Alex waving at me from one of the tables.

"Hey." I said to her as I sat down on the chair across from her.

"It's nice to see you again."

"You too."

"I never caught your last name, you know."

Did faking a surname make me a bad person? Doubtful.

"Howard." I told her, saying the first name that came to my head. I'd began to realise that I can only act with some form of script, quick improv wasn't my forté and I mentally scolded myself for saying a name that sounded so similar to my real one.

"Want me to get drinks?" I asked, steering the topic of conversation away from anything that involved me having to make up a lie in under five seconds. She nodded her head and reached into her purse to find money to pay with.

"Drinks are on me - payback for being a terrible person and forgetting to text you for half a week."

If things went to plan, Alex would stay at our table, far away from the place where the drinks are made; then if anyone happened to see me she'd be completely oblivious to it. I'd gotten over my old fear of going to places like this on my own a while ago; the social awkwardness had become less of a starring theme in the videos on my channel - a much needed rebranding had meant it was something I talked about less than I used to. It only really happened as a result of nerves and stress nowadays.

"Are you Dan Howell?" a voice called out from behind me just before I'd gotten in line.

I turned around to see two girls holding pumpkin spice lattes, aged about sixteen or seventeen to my estimate, both with wide eyes and shocked expressions on their faces. They both took a moment to look at each other, then back up at me, failing to hide grins.

"That would be me." I responded, making sure I was nowhere near Alex.

"Can we get a photo with you?" one of them questioned, with a phone held in one hand ready to pass to me.

"Yeah, of course." I agreed, holding the phone so our three faces were showing up on the screen, tapping the bottom of the screen to take the photo and handing it back to her.

Impromptu fan selfie-taking had been something I'd missed, it hadn't happened as much recently as it did back a few years ago - being spotted by people still never failed to make me smile after all the years, it was nice to see a face and not just a screen name.

"Is Phil here too?" the other girl asked.

"I'm afraid not - he hasn't gotten off his laptop all day doing editing, the poor guy." I lied.

"Oh." she said with dismay in her voice. "Well, it was nice meeting you."

"You too." I replied before they walked out of the door.

I then took my place in line, worrying that I'd been gone longer than I should've been. The service was abnormally fast so I'd gotten in and out of the line in an amount of time that wouldn't raise too much suspicion. Carrying two cups of coffee back to our table, I saw Alex engrossed in something on her phone.

"Took your time." she observed, putting her phone back into her bag.

"Can you believe there were 'minor malfunctions involving the coffee machine' in a coffee place?" I lied for a third time.

She took a sip of the coffee shaking her head in a state of fake disbelief.

"I feel you know more about me than I know about you."

I begged to differ. A name and a job are the only things I'd managed to find out. Assuming she was hinting at wanting to know more about 'Dan Howard' I began to expand on my made-up alter ego. Keeping it as truthful as possible would probably be best I decided - less chance of slipping up and blowing my own cover that way.

"I'm Dan, I'm twenty-seven years old, I was born in Berkshire, I then moved up north to Manchester and then back down south again to London. I work online for various companies and create content to promote their products and services."

That was the most implicit vague way of speaking about ads and sponsored videos without having to admit my real job - the closest I'd dare to go anyhow.

"Like tutorials?"

"That and other things." That was only a half-lie, all the seasonal baking videos Phil and I have made in the past have to count towards something.

"Now it's your turn."

"Okay, my name's Alex Reynolds and I'm twenty five, I've lived in London all my life, my job's kinda shitty, I work part time as a bartender - but it pays the bills, anyway if I had any other occupation I wouldn't be sat here now, would I?" Alex explained.

Alex Reynolds, the name suited her.

"But what I _am_ curious about is how you and your fake boyfriend came to be."

"We've been friends for almost ten years, practically joined at the hip since the day we met, we do pretty much everything together, we share an apartment - our friends have been suspicious of something going on for years now, it's all people seemed to be talking about. Hence the reason we gave in and confirmed what they want, so now I'm in a homosexual relationship with my heterosexual best friend. But honestly we're both cool with it - if I had to choose anyone to be my fake boyfriend it'd probably be Phil."

_There's millions of people named Phil in the world, stop getting yourself worked up or you'll ruin everything._

"So that's his name." she remarked. "Dan and Phil - sounds cute."

"Hm." I murmured in response. "Very."

 


End file.
